Tuesday, March 25, 2003
Kam’s Column - 25/03/03
Hello Again!
As I’m sure that you can all imagine, I wasn’t in the best of spirits after the last Derby game. In case you missed it, our boys came up against the (friendly) local rivals Forest and didn’t do so well. Four-something was the score – I’m not going to go any deeper into it than that. Of course, on one side it’s quite good, as it means at an East Midlands team will be fighting in the Premiership, but it would be better if it was our boys!
I’m certain that you’ve all had weeks like the one I’m currently enjoying(?) here. You know the ones – where every job comes in and is awkward and you spend ages fixing it, only for another to come along within moments of you downing tools. In fact, it’s all rather like decorating. You start with the walls. Then the ceiling looks like it needs a new coat of paint. Then the gloss work starts to look drab. Yes, regular reader, its been one of those weeks – but far from the simplicity of gloss paint. We’ve had pretty much every noise that you can imagine a vehicle making coming into the workshop. And, in true Kam style, these aren’t noises that are evident when the car is purring away to itself in the car park or sitting pretty on the ramps. Mrs Negris’ (name changed to protect her innocence!) Vauxhall Tigra is a case in point.
Now, Mrs Negris is a long standing customer of ours who works as a rep for a local company. As she has to travel all over the country on a regular basis, often at short notice, she needs to know that her car is up to the task. And the news was that the Tigra seemed to be performing nicely, apart from one thing – a clanging noise from underneath. Scott and I took it out for a test drive, and both came back with different opinions.
“It’s the exhaust,” said Scott confidently. “Either part of the pipe has rusted through and its flexing or one of the mountings is loose.”
“I’m sure it’s the suspension,” I countered. “We had the same noise of a Cosworth a few weeks back – and at the same speed too.”
“if it was the suspension then surely once you hit 30mph – where the noise starts – you’d feel a change in the handling. Plus it wouldn’t go away once you’ve got over 40mph.” It was a good parry.
“But if it was a loose bolt, then it could be the vibrations that are only present at those speeds. And of course, it would be regardless of the gear you’d selected at the time.” A foil to Scott’s parry, which went down fairly well I have to say. Not quite game, set, match Kev Allen, but close!
Instead of further discussing the causes of the problem, Scott and I got down to work. The first thing obviously was to check the exhaust and the emissions. Good healthy emissions and a lack of holes looked to disprove Scott’s ideas. So it was on to the suspension.
Annoyingly, that checked out perfectly as well. There were no loose components, the struts were unbent and everything was generally as it was when the Tigra rolled out of the factory.
Then, something that is getting depressingly routine occurred – the ‘Glynn Walk-past’ (see, we’ve even had to name this phenomenon). With his presence announced by the steam from a fresh mug of tea, Glynn sauntered up to the ramp from which the Tigra was displaying its belly.
“You see that Kev?” Glynn pointed to the front pipe. “It’s almost brand new.”
“Yes, I saw that. But it’s fixed perfectly and there aren’t any holes.”
“Ahh,” said Glynn – and rapped a knuckle firmly onto the catalytic converter. ‘Clong’
“Did you hear that?” He tapped the cat again. “I’ll bet that there is a little exhaust putty that has dropped into the cat. I’d suggest getting the cat off and having a look inside.”
Well, regular reader, Glynn was right (again). Once we’d removed the cat and put it on the bench we could quite clearly discern a little bit of baked putty rattling about in there. Unfortunately, putty and cat honeycomb don’t go well together. It was time to ring Mrs Negris.
“I’m afraid that we’ll need to put a new catalytic converter on,” I said once I’d explained the situation.
“OK Kev. Let me ring around and see if anyone can beat your price first.”
You won’t be surprised to learn that Mrs Negris was back on the phone an hour or so later. “I can’t better it Kev – you’ve out-priced everyone else!”
Once we’d finished the job, I was updating Mrs Negris’ service history when I noticed something a little odd. Two years ago, we’d fitted a new set of Stunner tyres to the Tigra. She’d been back at the correct intervals to have the tyres inspect for warranty purposes (don’t forget that Stunners are covered by an accidental damage guarantee for two years as well as having cover against vandalism) – and it didn’t look like she’d had a new set put on since! I checked with her when she picked the car up.
“You’re right Kev – these tyres are two years and 36,000 miles old! And they are still going strong. The handling is fantastic in all conditions, in fact they’ve got to be one of the best buys I’ve ever made!”
Of course, we can’t promise that all cars will return this sort of mileage on one set of tyres – but if you check your pressures daily (as Mrs Negris did), keep them properly inflated and bring them back for their warranty inspections, you’ll find that they go on and on and on!
That’s the end of another tale from Kam for this week – and I can tell that you’re impressed that I’ve avoided mentioning the war. The boys had a wager on that I’d get it into the piece somehow. But I haven’t. You won’t find any reference to the bombing of Baghdad or the tragedy of the casualties of war. Not a word about it…
Until next week,
