Tuesday, March 04, 2003
Kam's column - 04/03/03
Hello Again!
It has been another depressing week in the news, when you think about all the time that has been dedicated to preparing for a war that still might never happen. Might never happen? OK, I know I'm being overly optimistic - after all the US and UK Governments have spent so much that to not have a war would be counter productive - but there is still time for the Iraqis to disarm and for America to stop being so paranoid. However, I am genuinely worried that this will turn into a case of 'Now we're here...' - and that is no good for anyone. I'm also concerned for the future of the UN. Deeply divided, it looks as though the US is going to go it alone (with the UK Government as its European lapdog) and there isn't much that the UN can do to stop it. Is that a soapbox I see before me or a crate of air filters?
On a brighter note, Derby drew against Leicester at the weekend, proving that all isn't yet lost. I also went to see the Man U v. Liverpool match in the local hall with my son and daughter - what an experience that was! With my daughter supporting United and son following Liverpool, the match was doubly tense. Plenty of teasing was going on I can tell you!
And, as I'm sitting here writing this (yes, regular reader, I do get a minute a week to actually sit) I've just heard that the runaway policeman and 15-year old girl have been found safe and well. Good news all round then (almost).
This week's tale of mechanical daring-do concerns Mr Reid's (name changed to protect his innocence - although if you live in this area you might know him by the sound his car made...) imported Mitsubishi Shogun Special Edition - of which only about 30 were made. The problem concerned a squeaking coming from under the front of the car - but, in typical Kam style, it wasn't a constant noise. Oh no. It only appeared after six miles of driving and went away once the car had been left for half an hour.
Naturally, the first thing to do was to take it out on a test drive, which Shaun duly did. Ten minutes later, he returned to the depot with the Shogun emitting (what sounded like) a perfect G-flat at ear-shattering decibels. Nice. So, the Shogun soon found itself feet up in the air on our ramp, wheels off and ready for a full inspection.
Mr Reid had obviously spent vast amounts of money on trying to cure the squeaking - which was undeniably coming from the front brakes. He'd installed new discs, pads, callipers and even hoses - all brand new items and all very expensive original Mitsubishi parts. And still the huge 4x4 howled at him.
Thankfully, Kam had the answer (don't we always?). We've got a highly specialist piece of kit that can analyse every part of the braking system to find any fault - no matter how small. As we've come to expect, everything checked out perfectly, except that the near-side brake disc was 1.5mm thinner than the off-side. Undetectable to the human eye, this could have indicated some kind of braking imbalance that put the load on that disc more than on the other one. Could it be the ABS sensor playing up? Both discs had similar wear on them and neither were warped. It was all very odd.
Since our equipment was telling us that everything other than this disc was in perfect condition, it was time to turn to the second level of our arsenal. I think I mentioned a few weeks back that we had invested in a computer program that holds the records of every single component in every single car built within the last decade or so (perhaps more). It even has the specifications for imported cars. So, I fired in the details of the Shogun - and got a very unexpected result.
It turns out that the thinner brake disc was in fact perfect - it was the other that was the problem! At some point, someone had fitted the incorrect brake disc to the offside and, under load, it was expanding and catching against the brake pad. One new disc and pad set later and the noise had gone. To be certain that it wasn't a temporary fix, Shaun gave the Shogun a lengthy road test and came back reporting peace and quiet!
This squeaking Shogun was only the latest in a long line of horrible rattles and squeaks that have beset the region's motorists - please, no more! We're all dreaming of squeaking Superminis and clicking people carriers - a mechanic can only take so much!
Until next week,
