Tuesday, November 19, 2002
Kam’s Column - 19/11/02
Hello again!
It obviously was another good weekend for the Nottingham Forest boys who took yet another victory. Evidently, Lady Luck is still in their dressing room with no intention of coming to see the Derby boys in the near future. I wonder if it because we don’t supply the right colour flowers? Seriously, Forest are really showing other teams how the game is played at the moment, so congratulations to them!
Internationally, the arms inspectors are finally getting into Iraq – although whether this will end the controversy over whether Saddam has weapons of mass destruction is another thing entirely – I can see this dragging out yet further. Has anyone got any good news?
Well, actually, we do! Mrs Branch (name changed to protect her innocence) called my up in floods of tears on Monday morning.
“Kev, my engine’s fallen out!”
“It’s done what?” Now, I’ve heard many problems in the past, but never heard of an engine falling out of a car!
“My engine’s fallen out! It’s lying on the road outside my house and I’ve got to get to Lladudno for my sister’s Golden Wedding Anniversary party! And if that isn’t bad enough, I’ve got the cake!” At this point, she descended into floods of tears again.
“Mrs Branch, don’t worry. We’ll get everything sorted for you. Just tell me where the car is and we’ll take it on from there.” What I didn’t tell her was that we would be coming down with the rescue truck and one of our courtesy vehicles to ensure that she – and the cake – could get to the party on time! It evidently had been a stressful morning as when we turned up and I gave her the keys to the courtesy car, she dissolved into tears again and gave me a great big hug!
I have to tell you, regular reader, that Mrs Branch wasn’t fibbing when she said that the engine had fallen out. When the timing belt was replaced by the garage she bought the car from, the engine mounting bolts had been left loose – resulting in them shearing when she tried to start the car that morning! The engine was literally on the floor…
We got to work jacking the engine back into place and effecting a temporary repair before hoisting the Rover 414 TDI onto the rescue truck. Once back in the workshop, I held a straw-poll of the boys to see who wanted to get stuck in to fixing the Rover. Shaun stepped forward – well, jumped would be more appropriate! He’d been itching for days to get his teeth into a really meaty job, and this was the perfect one!
“Kev, I’m going to have to drill through the inner wing,” he said after inspecting the car. I was going to ask why, but thought that would spoil the moment, so, after clearing it with Mrs Branch, I gave him the go-ahead.
What follows I can only describe as incredible. Shaun’s plan was to drill a hole in the inner wing, drill out the old mounting screws, retap the threads and then remount the engine – all in situ! Virtually every other mechanic on the planet would have gone for the easier, but more time consuming, option of removing the engine entirely.
After getting through the inner wing, Shaun put three new holes in the engine block and retapped them with oversized taps. The precision required for this job was immense, let me tell you. Then he loaded the new holes with oversized bolts, hoisted the engine into position and mounted it back onto the body. (Writing it here makes it seem like no great sweat – but, once he finished, the entire workshop gave him a standing ovation) Of course, we had to plug the hole in the inner wing with a rubber grommet, but you couldn’t tell that it had ever been disturbed once we’d put some new underseal on there!
No job is complete without a road test. However, we discovered more work to be done as the engine had broken the shafts that run into the gearbox when it came crashing down! Thankfully, parts for the 414s are easy to come by and it didn’t take long before the car was running perfectly.
Now, since Mrs Branch had only bought this car six months earlier, I thought that it was a bit much for her to have to foot the bill. So I called the company that she had bought it from and suggested that, in the name of good customer service, they pay the costs of the repair. Let me just say that I can be very persuasive when I want to be!
When Mrs Branch returned from the party, she was delighted to discover that not only was her car fixed, but there was nothing to pay! It was a difficult job, of that there is no doubt, but one that Shaun relished doing!
Well, that’s it for this week. Just one thing to say before I go – please check your timing belts. We’ve had several Rovers come in this week courtesy of the AA, RAC (for who we are warranty approved repairers) and a variety of independent companies. I think we’ve got enough to last us until Christmas! Oh yes, and don’t forget the legions of flat batteries too – on new cars it requires a bit more than just a new battery as the engine management systems have to be completely reset as well!
Talking of Christmas, I know I said that I had finished all of my shopping, but I have suddenly realised that there are a few more bits to get… At this rate, I can see it being another Christmas Eve mad dash!
Until next time,
Dr Kev Allen
It obviously was another good weekend for the Nottingham Forest boys who took yet another victory. Evidently, Lady Luck is still in their dressing room with no intention of coming to see the Derby boys in the near future. I wonder if it because we don’t supply the right colour flowers? Seriously, Forest are really showing other teams how the game is played at the moment, so congratulations to them!
Internationally, the arms inspectors are finally getting into Iraq – although whether this will end the controversy over whether Saddam has weapons of mass destruction is another thing entirely – I can see this dragging out yet further. Has anyone got any good news?
Well, actually, we do! Mrs Branch (name changed to protect her innocence) called my up in floods of tears on Monday morning.
“Kev, my engine’s fallen out!”
“It’s done what?” Now, I’ve heard many problems in the past, but never heard of an engine falling out of a car!
“My engine’s fallen out! It’s lying on the road outside my house and I’ve got to get to Lladudno for my sister’s Golden Wedding Anniversary party! And if that isn’t bad enough, I’ve got the cake!” At this point, she descended into floods of tears again.
“Mrs Branch, don’t worry. We’ll get everything sorted for you. Just tell me where the car is and we’ll take it on from there.” What I didn’t tell her was that we would be coming down with the rescue truck and one of our courtesy vehicles to ensure that she – and the cake – could get to the party on time! It evidently had been a stressful morning as when we turned up and I gave her the keys to the courtesy car, she dissolved into tears again and gave me a great big hug!
I have to tell you, regular reader, that Mrs Branch wasn’t fibbing when she said that the engine had fallen out. When the timing belt was replaced by the garage she bought the car from, the engine mounting bolts had been left loose – resulting in them shearing when she tried to start the car that morning! The engine was literally on the floor…
We got to work jacking the engine back into place and effecting a temporary repair before hoisting the Rover 414 TDI onto the rescue truck. Once back in the workshop, I held a straw-poll of the boys to see who wanted to get stuck in to fixing the Rover. Shaun stepped forward – well, jumped would be more appropriate! He’d been itching for days to get his teeth into a really meaty job, and this was the perfect one!
“Kev, I’m going to have to drill through the inner wing,” he said after inspecting the car. I was going to ask why, but thought that would spoil the moment, so, after clearing it with Mrs Branch, I gave him the go-ahead.
What follows I can only describe as incredible. Shaun’s plan was to drill a hole in the inner wing, drill out the old mounting screws, retap the threads and then remount the engine – all in situ! Virtually every other mechanic on the planet would have gone for the easier, but more time consuming, option of removing the engine entirely.
After getting through the inner wing, Shaun put three new holes in the engine block and retapped them with oversized taps. The precision required for this job was immense, let me tell you. Then he loaded the new holes with oversized bolts, hoisted the engine into position and mounted it back onto the body. (Writing it here makes it seem like no great sweat – but, once he finished, the entire workshop gave him a standing ovation) Of course, we had to plug the hole in the inner wing with a rubber grommet, but you couldn’t tell that it had ever been disturbed once we’d put some new underseal on there!
No job is complete without a road test. However, we discovered more work to be done as the engine had broken the shafts that run into the gearbox when it came crashing down! Thankfully, parts for the 414s are easy to come by and it didn’t take long before the car was running perfectly.
Now, since Mrs Branch had only bought this car six months earlier, I thought that it was a bit much for her to have to foot the bill. So I called the company that she had bought it from and suggested that, in the name of good customer service, they pay the costs of the repair. Let me just say that I can be very persuasive when I want to be!
When Mrs Branch returned from the party, she was delighted to discover that not only was her car fixed, but there was nothing to pay! It was a difficult job, of that there is no doubt, but one that Shaun relished doing!
Well, that’s it for this week. Just one thing to say before I go – please check your timing belts. We’ve had several Rovers come in this week courtesy of the AA, RAC (for who we are warranty approved repairers) and a variety of independent companies. I think we’ve got enough to last us until Christmas! Oh yes, and don’t forget the legions of flat batteries too – on new cars it requires a bit more than just a new battery as the engine management systems have to be completely reset as well!
Talking of Christmas, I know I said that I had finished all of my shopping, but I have suddenly realised that there are a few more bits to get… At this rate, I can see it being another Christmas Eve mad dash!
Until next time,
Dr Kev Allen
