Dr Kev. - Kam Servicing Network.

Hello again!

You’d think that we were running a competition, that’s how many phone calls we received where the first words were “I’ve seen it! I’ve seen it!”. Of course I am referring to the vast numbers of you who called in to report the Kam Recovery vehicle broken down on the side of the road! The reason that the vehicle had to be towed was really quite simple – and not the lack of any servicing on our part!

Basically, the boys had taken a call to go and recover a stricken vehicle. Having given the customer a definite ETA, they jumped in the van and set off, the fuel gauge hovering just above empty. Now, they had a choice – either fill up just down the road and be late, or fill up at the garage near the customer’s home. They chose the latter, but the fuel ran out just too soon. As it happens, our customer saw the funny side and actually offered his spare petrol canister for use in emergencies!

Anyway, this week’s story is about a vehicle more glamorous than our humble works van. A vehicle that stopped the workshop in its tracks. A vehicle whose redness could be seen a block away. No, it wasn’t a Ferrari (common by comparison!) – but a gorgeous Porsche 996 Turbo, worth somewhere on the sunny side of £100,000. It belonged to a friend of mine who had made it big on the London IT circuit. I keep telling him that I’m good with computers, but he doesn’t seem that interested… (I’m a wizard at turning them on, and am blinding with putting disks in the drives.)

The Porsche needed a new set of brake pads and disks, as well as two tyres. Naturally, we delved into our AP Lockheed stock and sourced the braking components at prices below everything else that he’d been quoted. AP Lockheed items are perfect for this sort of car, their experience comes from making F1 braking units. And of course, we installed two Stunner tyres with their anti-vandal and curbing warranties.

Chris (my friend – name changed to protect his innocence, but in a gleaming red 998 I think you’d notice him…) was delighted and actually commented on his test drive that the Stunners were better than the previous tyres that he had fitted!

However, three days later, Chris was on the phone.

“Kev, I’ve got a problem. All of my electrics are playing up and fuses are blowing every time I take the car out!”

This didn’t sound too healthy, especially not on a £100,000 car. “Bring it in,” I said. “We’ll get on to it straight away.”

Well, when the car arrived, the ABS light was on, the interior light didn’t work, the indicators were dead and the hazards would turn themselves on and off at will. Shaun checked the work that we had done, just in case we had dislodged a connection, but nothing was apparent. Over to Scott, our resident electrical specialist.

This Porsche also came with a massive in-car-entertainment system. By massive, I mean huge – easily £10,000 worth. Scott’s eyes were out on stalks when he saw it (so I had to be careful closing the driver’s door…).
“Kev, I can’t find anything in the main car system. However, I’ve got a hunch that all the problems come from the main ICE fuse.”

I nodded wisely. Give me an engine and I’ll get it making the toast for you while singing Yellow Submarine. Show me a wiring diagram and I pale. I left Scott to it, by far the most sensible option and before long, he had the wiring system stripped back to the basics.

“Kev, I’ve found it!” Scott pointed to an ugly mass of soldering. “This car is a fire hazard – I’ve never seen such appalling installation.” He prodded various bits of solder. “Because this has been wired – and fused – incorrectly, it’s shorting out the system and blowing every fuse in the area as well! No wonder the car is feeling poorly.”

So, Scott rewired a good proportion of the entertainment system, replaced the fuses and pressed the ‘On’ switch. Suddenly, the workshop was filled with the entire London Philharmonic Orchestra giving 1812 all they had got. It was incredible (and also very loud!). In fact, the vibrations from the rather large sub in the back dislodged a particularly tricky piece of gunk that Glynn had been trying to get out of a turbo housing for some time!

Obviously, we don’t get such exotic cars in every day, but they receive exactly the same attention as your oldest Austin Maxi. Well, almost – I’ve never seen an Austin Maxi stop the whole workshop and turn them into 12 year olds again…

Until next week,

Dr Kev Allen

PS Derby are still on the up and up, of course. More on their progress soon!