Dr Kev. - Kam Servicing Network.

Hello Again!

After recent musings over the value of supporting the local cricketers rather than the footie team, I am delighted to report that Derby won again! So did our neighbours and archrivals Forest, but that is another story – and the best of British to them (although whether that’s weather or luck I’ll leave to your imaginations!). I’ve got a feeling that the recent round of losses for my beloved team was just a ruse to lull the opposition into a false sense of security. We’re on the up again!

As you know, here at Kam, we like to get every job done swiftly. We don’t like cars hanging around for any real length of time, because it means that you are inconvenienced. I know that you all appreciate our courtesy vehicles, but there truly is nothing like driving your own vehicle. Sometimes however, cars linger for longer…

Just such a case was the 1986 Mitsubishi Starion belonging to Mr Neil Hopkins – name changed to protect his innocence. What’s a Starion you may ask – well, it is a serious sporting machine and this version, the 2.0-litre EX, was the fastest production 2.0-litre car on the road between 1982 and 1987. The Starion needed every seal in the engine replacing as the previous owner, being 89 years of age, had only covered 1,000 miles a year for well over a decade (lack of use allows gaskets to wither). Although a major job, it is a relatively straight-forward one, so I provisionally gave it a time of three to four days.

“That quick Kev?” Neil asked.

“Well, yes. I’ve already given the suppliers a call and the parts should arrive at Heanor first thing in the morning. I won’t take a huge amount of time.” How wrong can you be? The car has only just left the workshop – one month later!

As I had been promised, the parts arrived down at our Heanor depot the next morning, allowing the boys to get straight to work. Within the hour, an additional two problems reared their ugly heads.

“Neil, I’m afraid your water pump needs replacing. And your turbo is worn quite badly.” I hate to be the bearer of bad news.
“Do what you have to, Kev,” was the reply. “I had suspected that the turbo was a little worn, so if you think that it needs replacing, go ahead and get it done.”

So it was back on the Internet, surfing to find the best deals from our list of preferred suppliers. You’d think that it would be a simple enough job to locate parts and usually it is. However, Starions are rare beasts and no one had the bits on the shelf. At least we had the gasket set.

“Err, Kev…” Scott’s disgruntled voice echoed across the workshop.

“Yes?” I turned around to see Scott pointing at a large puddle underneath the car. “What the…?”

“I don’t know! I fitted the gaskets properly, turned the engine over and all of the water was spat out of the head! I’ll have to take the lot off again…”
Once Scott had taken the head off and removed the gaskets, none of us could see where the problem lay. The answer only became apparent when I borrowed a toy microscope from one of my neighbours’ children. Looking at the gasket under the highest magnification, I could see a line of tiny perforations! That would explain the weakness – needless to say the suppliers received an irate phone call the next morning!

In the mean time, I had ordered a turbo reconditioning kit, which I was informed would take two days to deliver. Five days later, I opened the parcel to discover a kit not for a Starion at all, but rather for a Shogun! Another phone call and another delay… At least Neil was happy enough bumbling about in our courtesy car.

To cut a lengthening story short, it seemed that every time I ordered a part or a seal, something would be delivered wrong – someone even sent a timing belt with two extra teeth! After three and a half weeks, we finally had the car back together, with all of the right parts and correct seals! When he came back to collect the Starion, Neil’s first comment was how much ‘cleaner’ the exhaust sound was and how little it now smelt! Glancing to the rear of the car, and the four-inch tailpipe, I thought I could see what he meant. However, it would have been pointless asking him to explain as a far-away look had come into his eyes as he contemplated getting back behind the wheel of his giant red beast!

The moral of this week’s story is that jobs can sometimes take longer than we anticipate and, while we do use the best parts suppliers in the country, even they sometimes send the wrong parts!

Until next week, Heanor’s now reverberating to the sound of a rejuvenated Starion!

Dr Kev Allen